| When Patrick asked me to help fill in for him while he is on his honeymoon, I gladly accepted, but quickly became a bit nervous, since I had no idea what to write. Luckily, in my weekly rummage through his desk drawers, I found a crumpled up memo entitled "How to write a Buzz List," which he had apparently written as a guide for himself. I was saved. |  | "Whenever possible, start with an easy target, preferably Paris Hilton."
Could Paris' engagement to the improbably-named Paris Lastis be just a publicity stunt? Is their love on the rocks? Does Paris Hilton really need more publicity? C'mon Parises (or is it Parii?), save some of the publicity for the people who really need it, like Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes. |  |
|  | "Next, see what Ashton Kutcher's latest project is. Whatever it is, it's probably tanking hard."
Luckily for us, Ashton's "Beauty and the Geek" is a hit (well, on the WB scale, at least), and has been renewed for a second season.
Why is that good news, you ask? Well, anything that will keep him busy, yet off-camera, is a good thing in my book. So set those Tivos, you Nielson Families out there! |  |
|  | "If it's near a holiday, talk about that. Otherwise, just see what's up with the Professional Eating Circuit."
Well, what luck, this one's a two-fer: The weiner -- I mean, "winner" -- of the coveted Mustard Belt at yesterday's Nathon's Famous hot dog eating contest downed an astounding 49 dogs in just 12 minutes. Surprisingly, Star Jones was nowhere nearby.
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|  | "Find a cool site, preferably with a dancing fat kid."
Sorry, no dancing awkwardness today, but here's a neat Honda ad that won all kinds of awards at the Cannes Advertising Festival.
Finally, something watchable out of Cannes. |  |
|  | "Tie something into your childhood. People eat that sentimental stuff up like cheddar-cheese mashed potatoes."
I remember back in the good old days of MTV -- well, not when they showed videos all the time, but at least before Pauly Shore showed up -- there was a great comedy sketch show called The State. For some reason, it got cancelled, and over the next few years, the cast members only re-appeared on occasional short-lived series. Well, 2005 looks like their big comeback year:
- Comedy Central has a new season of "Reno 911" underway (featuring several former State-ers).
- Michael Ian Black, perhaps the funniest of the original State crew, is finally breaking free of his "I love the 70s" rut. His comedy troupe "Stella" has a new Comedy Central series on Wednesdays.
Don't ruin my childhood memories, Michael. |  |
| | |  | "Wrap things up with a brief self-description and shameless plug for the snack website."
In addition to being the third-string Buzz List writer, Kevin Cooney keeps a personal website, to give his friends and family yet another reason to make fun of him.
Patrick Holland will return on July 12th. Joe Cesarano will resume filling in for him on Friday. |
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THE BUZZ LIST