Need some help deciding whether you're over your last love and ready for a new relationship? Read on and take this month's SexHealth quiz.

The end of an important relationship always has a traumatic aspect to it. If you're the only person who wants the relationship to end, there is some guilt for disappointing someone who loves you, some anxiousness over the limits of your own taste and wisdom, and some insecurity about future choices. On the other hand, if you're the person who is left, it's even worse. For some people, this is the beginning of a downward spiral of fading self-esteem, depression over losing someone precious, and fear that one is not loveable in some essential way. The bigger the emotional investment--the surer you are that this was "the One"--the more shaken you are in the aftermath.

It's not unusual for people to retreat. Sure, some people try and get over this period though a frenzy of dating, sleeping around, or partying (or all three), but many men and women just drop out of sight. Those who have children stay home with their kids, using them as an excuse for why they have no time to date; or if they are single and without the easy explanation of family responsibilities, they say their job exhausts them or dating is just so depressing it's not worth the effort.

It's true. Dating is a lot of effort. "Getting out there" is hard. In fact, finding out where "there" is a challenge that's daunting enough for most of us. People who are brave enough at work or sport often quail at the idea of putting themselves back in bars or scanning the room at a party for an interesting (and interested) person. Dating is sometimes just a euphemism for hugging the wall at a singles' event and waiting until enough time has passed to go home.

And yet, most people surmount these considerable hazards. Our biology compels us. We are a herd animal--we like the company of our kind. And we are "pair-bonding," as the sociobiologists say--we like to couple up. We move in herds of coupled-up people. We want to fit in and be part of a couple like so many of our peers.

So we are willing to suffer the pain of refusal and rejection in our quest for acceptance because when we find acceptance--and even more than that, love--there is nothing sweeter. What is it the athletes say? No pain, no gain? Ultimately, we find a way around our considerable responsibilities, to take a little time back for our romantic quest. If we are ready.

So how do we know when we are ready? If you have already taken our quiz (Are You Ready To Date Again?), you know your score. If you haven't, you can find it at the following link: http://www.sexhealth.com/sexhealth/user/display.cfm?display=ContentDetail&mediaid=144 Either way, here are some further insights:

Letting Go of the Past: Questions one through four assess how attached you are to your last love. You really can't date if your heart is elsewhere. If your feelings are so near the surface, you haven't resolved them yet--and you must. If you carry someone in your heart like this, you won't have room for someone new. Why date? You could louse up a relationship with someone great just because you aren't ready to see what he or she has to offer? Here's a test: listen to love songs--Country & Western, show tunes, whatever does it for you. If you can hear them and not think of a failed or lost relationship, you're probably ready to leave heartbreak behind.

If you aren't ready to move on, ask yourself why. Is there something about your behavior in the failed relationship that you don't understand and need to reconcile yourself with? Are you still hoping that relationship will come back? Do you not trust your own ability to love? If any one of these questions strikes a chord with you, deal with the issue. You are not ready to date until you do.

Liking Yourself: Questions five through seven gauge how you feel about yourself as a partner and whether you believe in yourself enough to put some effort into helping a prospective date want to be with you. Getting fit or even getting in touch with why you are worth knowing says you're really motivated to meet someone. All of us are more sociable and even more charming, witty, and talkative when we feel good about ourselves. After a breakup, this may require getting the emotional support you need from friends, family, or possibly a counselor. But sometimes feeling good is more a matter of appearances. Putting in the effort to look our best helps us be our best inside as well as outside. If you feel like a presentable and valuable package, you have the self-confidence you need to make someone else value you as much--or even more--than you value yourself.

Feeling the Fire: Questions eight through ten measure your readiness to re-enter the dating world. Desire is the fuel of dating, and you've got to be alive, above and below the collarbone. If you are depressed or still hurting from your last significant relationship, your hormones are probably still in hiding. But if they are out and about and reminding you that the world is full of luscious people, then you are motivated. Once you start noticing that attractive people are out there, it's just a minor adjustment to engage one in conversation. If you find you are smiling a lot, making eye contact, and trying to be charming, you are in dating mode, even if you haven't called it that yet. If you are looking at dating venues (the Net, bars, parties, singles clubs) then you are on the precipice of dating. Congratulations, and good luck!